I work with many people who are looking to change careers or start new ventures. By the time someone commits to hiring a coach like me, they are at least warm to the idea of making a change. Or, they are so frustrated by their current situation and haven’t achieved what they want on their own that they are willing to try something different like coaching to help them get unstuck.
My clients set the goal for our work together, and I help them achieve it by giving them tools to identify and dismantle their internal roadblocks, providing accountability and holding onto the vision of what they could be. As we work towards the time for them to take a leap, many get fearful. They worry that their fear might mean they are making the wrong decision. However, fear isn’t necessarily a sign that you’re making the wrong choice. Some fear is going to be present anytime you make a big decision or change. So how can you know the difference between intuition that is steering you away from danger or away from what’s not in your best interest and the fear that is conjured up by the primitive, survivalist part of your brain?
Over the past couple of years, as I’ve dived deeper into the coaching arena and become much more tuned into my own mind-body awareness, I’ve learned the key is in the physical feelings rather than just the emotional ones. It is a bit tricky, since our feelings can be spurred by our thoughts, and the primitive “reptilian brain” constantly churns out thoughts of lack and attack (I’ve written about this before here and here) in its efforts to keep us from ultimate doom. When we aren’t conscious of the thoughts, we can react automatically from a fear-based place. This can actually have the effect of proving our original fear-based thought correct, as described in Self-Coaching 101 by Brooke Castillo. (I did a quick video describing the concept of Self-Coaching 101.)
After you become aware of your thoughts and learn how to clean them up, you can get to a calm mind state where you can then check in with the wisdom from your body. And that’s where I can identify two types of fear. There’s the scary-exciting feeling, like being on a high dive or a roller coaster. (When I quit my big corporate job and left the senior executive title behind, I told some people it felt like jumping out of an airplane.) The other kind of fear feels heavy to me, like a pit in my stomach. This reminds me of dread, or the kind of “don’t go down that dark alley” feeling. The first fear isn’t a stop sign. That’s where life is asking you to go, to grow beyond your comfort zones a bit to become more.
After you get past the flurry of anxiety provoking thoughts that our little survivalist brains love to churn out, tap into your inner wisdom. And if you’ve got the scary-but-exciting feeling, muster up your courage and take the challenge! Remember courage doesn’t mean you don’t have fear, it just means you move forward anyway.
This is great!
Aw, thanks, Jenny!