What Resting Doesn’t Look Like

I am someone who tries to put too much into a day, who somehow impossibly believes I can do more than I can in a day, an hour, even 15 minutes. I think, erroneously, that it’s more efficient to pack in errands on the way to an appointment or meeting and even have phone calls (using my hands-free, don’t worry) while I’m driving so I don’t “waste time.” (I don’t understand why I’m late.) I love lists and the satisfaction I get from checking things off the list is only overshadowed by the never-ending tasks that get added to my lists. Sometimes I just start new lists. And I try not to get too discouraged and frustrated with myself for not completing some of those items.

I’ve now been sick for four weeks. It started off as a gift from my niece, who was generous in sharing her germs while I was taking care of her for a week. I let myself sleep in a bit the first day and figured I’d just power through. By the next week, the respiratory virus was turning into bronchitis, which I know I’m susceptible to. Still, I “powered through,” took some Mucinex and did my homeopathic things. By the end of that week, I was feeling pretty darn puny (while on vacation), and I finally went to an urgent care clinic for a prescription. It worked, sort of, but the infection worsened, so I’m now on a super-duper prescription that promises to knock out every bacteria, good or evil, in my system. (Great…) I’m marginally better. I feel like I don’t know what happened to November, and I feel like I’ve been in a fog.

What have I learned (again)? That I need to REST. Not just a little catnap kind of rest. My body wants to VEG OUT. Do a lot of nothing. Eat lots of soups. Wear pajamas and lay on the couch. Sleep and sleep some more.

But of course, I worry about doing this. I run my own business. If I’m not working, there’s no one else to pick up the slack. If I’m not working, my business isn’t growing. And if I’m not exercising (gasp!), I will gain weight and be completely out of shape. Pesky thoughts like these make me stay away from the comfort of the couch and keep me on the computer and pushing my body to go-go-go. So I’ve followed my pesky brain’s advice and have tried to power through. It hasn’t worked so well. I’ve stayed sick a lot longer than I think I would have if I’d just taken the time at the beginning to recuperate.

And is it really true that we “waste time?” Is that even possible? I’m beginning to believe in a different kind of time. One that values the present moment, whatever it holds. And I’ve been letting things slide, out of necessity, realizing that if it truly needs to get done it will get done. If I forgot to email a friend back, they will remind me. If I missed a big story on the news or Facebook, it will come up again.

I’ve been trained as a health educator (back in the day), but don’t follow my example if you’re suffering with a virus or infection. Give yourself permission to heal, and listen to your body for what it needs. Taking the time from work may seem impossible – everyone I know is more-than-busy – but what’s the cost if you don’t take the time?

(My cat Lucy shows how resting is really done well.)