Six years ago, I knew I wasn’t in the right career. Don’t get me wrong, I was very good at what I did. I had risen to an executive level in a respected organization and was well respected by my clients, colleagues and industry peers.
But being good at something isn’t enough. While I enjoyed the respect and monetary compensation, I wanted to feel passionate about my work. I wanted to enjoy it. I saw that in some of my colleagues, and at one point, I had had some of that for my line of work. But it was gone and, if I was honest with myself, had been gone for several years.
I know now that my biggest mistake was thinking that since I didn’t know what else to do, I might as well keep doing what I was doing.
Life is constantly urging us forward, like a game of Hot-Cold. All we have to do is follow the signs that show up for us, which guide us and let us know when we are going towards our purpose (Hotter) or when we’re headed in the wrong direction (Colder). The only way you lose the game of Hot-Cold is if you stop moving. And by deciding I wouldn’t make a move until I knew what the destination was, I was losing.
I kept getting additional feedback though – that of the Cold variety. Things got more difficult for me – I was given more work and less support, my boss consistently cancelled meetings with me – my only opportunity to get guidance, support and insight into the broader vision – and a coworker covered her mistake by blaming it on me to the client. I buckled down, thinking I needed to work harder, understand the organization’s politics better, and make it work for me.
Since I wasn’t getting the message of “Don’t go that way! It’s COLD over there!” I got additional messages. Despite revenue numbers that demonstrated the department I led was grossly understaffed and that I had enough revenue to easily cover an additional 4-5 people, all my efforts to get staff were denied. In addition, I was threatened by a superior that unless I agreed to some financial sleight-of-hand, two of the three staff I did have would be fired. That one got my attention. While it wasn’t illegal, it wasn’t ethical. I finally could see that even playing by their rules and having the financial numbers to back me up, I wasn’t going to succeed in this position. And although I caved to the pressure and saved my team’s jobs, I made a mental decision that I didn’t want to have any part of a team that condoned behavior of threatening and bullying.
However, I still didn’t know what else to do. But here’s the great thing – you don’t have to know what the final destination is. Just keep moving in the direction of “Hotter.”
I feel so passionate and personally rewarded by the work I do now as a life coach, helping to connect other people with their inner truths so they can find peace and joy in their lives. And it keeps changing. I started out doing mostly career coaching, and that has been morphing into more spiritual and life-purpose work. I know now that I don’t have to know exactly where I’m going, as long as I keep following the signs and trust in the process.
And the Hotter signs are a LOT more fun to follow.