wants

Claim What You Want

emilydownward

Over coffee with a friend, I encourage her to claim what she wants, to state it aloud, and as I’m saying it, I recognize the irony as I realize this is EXACTLY what I have been not doing for myself. Why can’t I claim what I want for myself?

Perhaps it’s a strange attempt at protection – if I don’t admit what I want, I won’t be so disappointed when in doesn’t happen.

Or maybe it’s that if I don’t say it out loud, no one will know when I fail to get it, compounding the disappointment.

Or it could be that I just don’t believe I deserve what I want. That it only happens for other people, those who work hard or are better people or more enlightened or always do what’s right.

As I put it down on paper, I can see how silly this reasoning is. In my mind, it seems completely logical. My mind tells me not to claim what I want, and by following its reasoning, I stay completely stuck in ways of thinking and doing that keep me from EVER getting what I want.

How can I possibly achieve or receive what I want if I don’t ask for it?

And I know I must ask and release my attachment to it. This is tricky for me sometimes, and probably part of the reason my mind twists itself up in not stating what I want. Because if you ask the Universe in a state of “I NEED this,” that grasping energy repels what you want, just like a desperate lover can repel the person they want to connect with.

By the grace of a friend who lent me a book, I found this prayer by Tosha Silver: “Let what wants to come, come. Let what wants to go, go. If it is mine, it will stay. If not, something better will replace it.”

I truly believe holding on to something that wants to go is not only futile but also keeps that “something better” from getting to you. We must create a vacuum to allow the space for that better thing to come in.

Today, I am going to claim one thing that I want, stating it in the present tense as if it is true. I’m going to write it on a slip of paper and burn it, letting it go with this prayer – Let what wants to come, come. Let what wants to go, go. If it is mine, it will stay. If not, something better will replace it. – knowing that I am always taken care of and that the Universe often has better ideas than I do about how to fulfill my wants.

Letting_it_go

Personal Independence

emilydownward

“Those who really desire to attain an independence, have only set their minds upon it, and adopt the proper means, as they do in regard to any other object which they wish to accomplish, and the thing is easily done.” ~ P. T. BarnumHere in the U.S., we celebrate Independence Day tomorrow. I’m celebrating with my sweetie by travelling up to Portland where we’ll be attending the World Domination Summit over the weekend. (If you’re not familiar with WDS, it’s all about positive social change, started by author Chris Guillebeau. This will be my first year attending, and I’m excited about the planned content and speakers.)

What does independence mean to you? Is it about having enough money to do what you want when you want? Is it having time to rest, create and play? Is it being your own boss and setting your own schedule?

I have found it so helpful and illuminating to define exactly what I want. After all, if you don’t know what you want, it’s very challenging to chart your course to get it. I get most clarity by writing, so I make lists or descriptions of what I want in my journal, being as specific as feels good to me. It may sound simple, but it can be a very eye-opening because pesky thoughts about not being good enough or not being worthy may pop up as I begin to dream big. Cleaning up those thoughts (using Byron Katie’s The Work) helps me clear the path and get my brain to work FOR me instead of getting in my own way.

If independence doesn’t get your creative juices flowing, try defining success. Then make a list of what you want – it’s important to focus on what you want, not what you don’t, so write in the affirmative. If you’re feeling too separated from what you might really want, start with broad strokes and begin to notice what people, activities and events bring you energy and joy.