I’ve recently completed my fourth cross-country move in 12 months. (Yes, I’m exhausted and the sight of moving boxes sends me into fight-or-flight mode.) I’ve found a nice little place to start my new home on a quiet street in North Seattle. I love the quiet. I am glad to have my own space. And, I could describe my apartment as Cozy.
The truth is, it’s small.
Or, I have too much stuff.
I have been battling the boxes, unpacking them and trying to find a place to put everything, and noticing how creative I can get with the space I have. Finally, though, I had to admit, there is NO MORE SPACE. Every drawer is filled, every closet packed, every cabinet has enough in it.
I’m not a hoarder, and I purge my things at least yearly, going through my closet to identify anything I haven’t worn in a year – besides the Halloween costumes. You never know when you might need to reprise one of those – and combing through the vast collection of bathroom items I seem to collect, including soaps, makeup, skin care samples, aromatherapy, lotion, hair products, travel size toiletries,… you get the idea.
So I’ve been purging more, but I reached a point at which I can’t get rid of much else and I STILL have too much stuff. And it’s stuff I either need to keep (like paperwork that needs to be kept for a few more years) or want to keep (like my Christmas decorations and the china from my great aunt). I realized I have two options: allow it to be piled in an anti-feng-shui manner in corners, OR admit I need more space and rent a damn storage unit.
After trying option 1 for nearly a week, I realized how much this Stuff is getting to me. It stresses me out! One of the questions I love to pose to clients is, “What’s the kindest thing you can do for yourself right now?” Initially, the answer was that it was kinder not to have to think about a storage unit. I didn’t want to pay a monthly fee and really wanted to try and achieve some minimalism ideal. But this week the answer changed to Admit I can’t do any more with what I have and rent some space. Immediately, I felt better. Lighter. Less stress. Ah…
I think many of us do this to ourselves a lot. Life serves us up a challenge (stress), and we Try To Solve It! We go into work-mode. The I-can-do-it and the try-harder mode. And we have pressed our nose to the grindstone so hard that we can’t see the solution: Give Up. It sounds so easy, so lazy, like you’re not trying hard enough. But where has all the trying got you?
Obviously, it’s a balance between trying and giving up that’s the true answer. For me, (and perhaps some of you dear readers) a little more giving up is not only the kinder way to go, it’s also where the solution lives.