I’m currently rehabilitating my right hip. Due to scoliosis and some other factors, it’s significantly weaker and has been causing me a lot of pain and making it difficult to walk. I’ve been doing a combination of therapies to relieve the pain and make it stronger, and after a couple of good days, I thought I’d join my boyfriend on a run around the lake. I was excited about getting out there and doing a run/walk, enjoying the nice weather and spending time together.
Unfortunately, I significantly overestimated my body’s current ability. I didn’t get very far at all before I began limping, and less than a mile into it, my leg started giving out completely. When this happens, I can usually catch myself with my other leg so I don’t fall down, but it’s very painful when it gives out. At this point in our “run,” I was hobbling. I decided to let my boyfriend run ahead without me while I turned back to SLOWLY make my way back to the car.
It was ridiculously slow. I had to stop and stretch several times, and I had to take very small steps to prevent my hip giving out. This gave me plenty of time to think, and my critical mind jumped in with a barrage of insults. “I CAN’T BELIEVE I can’t even run a mile! It was less than a year ago that I was doing my last triathlon and now I can barely walk! This is pathetic.”
I realized that although I want very much to be back at my triathlon training level, the reality is I’m not. I can either try to force my leg to do more than it can do (with the consequence of setting myself back and causing more pain), or I can take small steps, doing my physical therapy and allowing my body to rebuild the muscle strength at its own pace.
I am often impatient for things to be different, so this situation reminds me of many other times when I wished things were different NOW, whether it be at a job or in my personal life. I think the first step is recognizing where you are versus where you want to be, and the next challenge is to consistently take small steps towards your goal. It most often cannot be done all at once. Perhaps you want a new promotion. What are the steps to get there, other than talking to your boss or the decision makers about your intention? Notice what skills or expertise you need and determine ways to get that experience. Break down the progression into smaller steps, and keep your focus on executing those smaller steps flawlessly.
I also use coaching to quiet the critical voice inside my head. When I struggle against reality – what is true versus what I think it should be – I cause myself an incredible amount of stress and frustration. Accepting the reality doesn’t mean I give up on making improvements, though. It just means I have more peace in the moment. So I’ve traded the negative self-talk for encouraging thoughts: “Every day I do my exercises, I’m getting stronger.” And I’m taking purposeful, small steps – literally – towards my goal. (It’s working!)