Rather than New Year’s resolutions, I now prefer to set intentions. To be honest, resolutions only kept me toeing the line for a few weeks, or possibly a month or two at best. Intentions feel much kinder to me. I like the concept of intentions so much, I set intentions at the start of any new program or course, and even at the beginning of each day.
Intention is defined as an aim or plan. I like that concept, since resolutions tend to get “should-y” and make me feel guilty for not being good enough. (I now believe this is a fallacy – we are each worthy just because we are. The “not good enough” refrain that all our brains churn out is a dirty lie that keeps us unhappy.) Intention is more about how you want to BE and less about what you DO or accomplish.
As you approach 2015, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What worked in 2014?
- What didn’t work in 2014?
- What predominant emotion would I like to FEEL in 2015?
- What are my intentions for 2015?
My brain so easily goes to the negative that I must consciously redirect it to the positive, such as with the question “what worked?” Finding what worked is also a great way to leverage your successes for other areas. By determining how you work best, you can recreate the pattern, such as capitalizing on the time of day you work best or what personal rewards are most motivating for you.
And it’s still helpful to look at what didn’t work, to determine where you want to make course corrections. When I think of what didn’t work this past year, I think about the times when I fought against reality (always a losing proposition), when I was reluctant to surrender an idea of how things “should be,” and when I spent energy and time worrying about things that [thankfully] didn’t occur. So I intend to do less of that, and more of putting my energy and focus on more positive and productive ways of being.
So often we get caught up in the concept of being reactive, thinking that external forces are the primary driver of our feelings. However, the truth is we actually have much more influence over our feelings with the thoughts we choose to focus on. I find that by identifying how I want to feel, I can then notice more clearly when I’m not feeling that and consciously reach for my desired feeling state.
For much of 2014, I have focused on the pursuit of peace. I know I have made significant progress in this area since I feel much more peace on a regular basis, and I have recently had several people spontaneously comment on how much peace I’m radiating. I want to continue to feel peace in 2015, and I’m also going to add an intention for joy.
Wishing you all a very joyful and prosperous New Year!
