There are two kinds of people in this world: people who energize you and people who drain you.
Those who energize you leave you feeling better. You catch a sense of their confidence in you and find yourself thinking more positively. You find time with them just flies by and you can’t wait to spend more time with them. And I’m not just talking about love relationships either. These are the people in your life that you always count among your blessings, who inspire you and provide a safe space for you to just be you.
And then there are the drainers, those people who, for whatever reason, zap the energy right out of you. They may be people who need constant reinforcement and attention, who always want more, more, more (the term hungry ghosts comes to mind – you can never fill them). Or they could be the downers in your life that always look for how things can never work out and give you all the reasons why you should worry, prepare for ultimate doom, and just give up now. Maybe you don’t know exactly why, but after spending time with them, you feel completely and utterly spent.
If you’re lucky, you can surround yourself in your personal and professional life with only those who energize you. More likely, you have some energizers and some drainers in your family, social circle and at work. So how do you keep the drainers from depleting your energy resources?
- Awareness. It sounds so simple, and yet, if you’re not conscious about it, you can’t change it. Start noticing how you feel after interactions with different people.
- Reduce exposure, where possible. Think of it like x-rays: a couple dental x-rays are okay, but you don’t want full-body radiation all the time. When and where you can, limit your time and exposure to the drainers. For example, I love my relatives dearly but some drain the life force right out of me. I try to reduce the duration of time I spend with them to a couple hours at any one time when possible.
- Balance with energizers. We can’t always limit our exposure to the drainers, so find ways you can fill up your energy deficit by scheduling in time with people or activities that raise you up. When I was in the corporate world, even a quick walk around the block or taking the stairs instead of the elevator between floors gave me a chance to breathe and reflect.
- Set a boundary. This may sound crazy, but try it with an open mind. I don’t know how it works, but I know it does. Before you encounter the drainers in your life, or at the beginning of your day, imagine a boundary around you, like an orb that completely surrounds you. The surface is semi-permeable: love can pass through. All other stuff is kept out. Try it and see if you can feel a difference.
I recently read a great analogy on energy that resonated with me. Think of your energy for each given day as a bowl with 24 beads in it. You get to choose how you want to spend them, but you only have so many. Make conscious decisions about how and on whom you want to spend your energy beads, and don’t forget to keep a few for yourself.