energy – Emily Downward

Finding Your Way

July 15, 2014emilydownward

I keep getting more and more reminders that success for each of us is really very individual. While we may look to experts or others who have “made it” for inspiration and ideas, we still have to find our own way. And for most of us, this requires quite a bit of trial and error.

I’m seeing this in my life in multiple areas. One is my diet. My body has become extremely sensitive to all kinds of foods – and “sensitive” is the nice way to say it violently rejects things that aren’t good for it. I’ve done some reading and research of why this might be happening. I found both medical and spiritual explanations for the cause, and there are numerous diets and cleanses all claiming to have the answer to fix it.

A part of me often wishes for, and looks for, an easy solution to things. I buy books and read articles online looking for The Answer. I find it comforting to learn and follow guidelines with an expected outcome. Unfortunately, someone else’s idea of The Way doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. I must try different ideas and processes, learning what works for me and what doesn’t, creating my own hodge-podge version with pieces of this and parts of that, mixed with my own preferences and style.

The same is true for my clients. Many times a new client will ask me what my process is, what steps I will take them through. And while I do have a set of tools I regularly teach and use, I don’t have one prescribed process I take everyone through. I value the uniqueness of each person’s strengths, challenges and journey, and I customize the sessions to best meet each client’s goals and current situation.

That’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about my new program, which I have whimsically called the Magical Mystical Tour. Rather than putting forward one way of thinking about how to use and leverage energy and intuition, I’m introducing you to five of my favorite practitioners of “the Woo.” Listening to each of these incredible women will give you a variety of styles and ways to explore. If you’re looking for a way to learn more about how to use energy in your life, this is a great way to get a sampling of several different ways.

As always, keep searching for the path that works best for you, realizing that it’s likely a unique one, just as you are a unique expression of the Universe. And if you find that you’ve somehow lost the trail, or that what you used to do is no longer working for you, I can help you find your way.

What Impact Are You Having?

February 5, 2014emilydownward

I’m laying on my back on the floor in a semi-darkened room. The sunlight is streaming through the window shining its rays above me, and I can see minute dust particles dancing in the space above me. I watch them swirl as I exhale and think about how they must also enter me as I inhale. I’m reminded of how everything is connected, and how at the elemental level, we (and everything else) are made up of energy.

We can’t see it, but we have an effect on our environment and the people around us, in subtle energetic ways.

When you become conscious of this, you can choose the effect you want to have. Are you adding to the negativity around you? Or are you making a positive impact, shining light wherever you go?

Energizers vs. Drainers

May 22, 2013emilydownward

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who energize you and people who drain you.

Those who energize you leave you feeling better. You catch a sense of their confidence in you and find yourself thinking more positively. You find time with them just flies by and you can’t wait to spend more time with them. And I’m not just talking about love relationships either. These are the people in your life that you always count among your blessings, who inspire you and provide a safe space for you to just be you.

And then there are the drainers, those people who, for whatever reason, zap the energy right out of you. They may be people who need constant reinforcement and attention, who always want more, more, more (the term hungry ghosts comes to mind – you can never fill them). Or they could be the downers in your life that always look for how things can never work out and give you all the reasons why you should worry, prepare for ultimate doom, and just give up now. Maybe you don’t know exactly why, but after spending time with them, you feel completely and utterly spent.

If you’re lucky, you can surround yourself in your personal and professional life with only those who energize you. More likely, you have some energizers and some drainers in your family, social circle and at work. So how do you keep the drainers from depleting your energy resources?

Awareness. It sounds so simple, and yet, if you’re not conscious about it, you can’t change it. Start noticing how you feel after interactions with different people.
Reduce exposure, where possible. Think of it like x-rays: a couple dental x-rays are okay, but you don’t want full-body radiation all the time. When and where you can, limit your time and exposure to the drainers. For example, I love my relatives dearly but some drain the life force right out of me. I try to reduce the duration of time I spend with them to a couple hours at any one time when possible.
Balance with energizers. We can’t always limit our exposure to the drainers, so find ways you can fill up your energy deficit by scheduling in time with people or activities that raise you up. When I was in the corporate world, even a quick walk around the block or taking the stairs instead of the elevator between floors gave me a chance to breathe and reflect.
Set a boundary. This may sound crazy, but try it with an open mind. I don’t know how it works, but I know it does. Before you encounter the drainers in your life, or at the beginning of your day, imagine a boundary around you, like an orb that completely surrounds you. The surface is semi-permeable: love can pass through. All other stuff is kept out. Try it and see if you can feel a difference.

I recently read a great analogy on energy that resonated with me. Think of your energy for each given day as a bowl with 24 beads in it. You get to choose how you want to spend them, but you only have so many. Make conscious decisions about how and on whom you want to spend your energy beads, and don’t forget to keep a few for yourself.

What Energy Are You Bringing?

June 6, 2012emilydownward

"I've learned that people will forget what you say, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou — With my lovely niece Paige

In work (as in life), there are some people you enjoy being around and easily collaborate with. And then there are others…some who don’t inspire you but don’t annoy you, and some that really frustrate you and become the motivation for happy hour or the face you conjure up in kickboxing class. Unfortunately, you can’t change other people, so that leaves you. Even small changes in your own behavior and attitude can have ripple effects on others, even those really frustrating others.

Science is beginning to explain what the poet Maya Angelou said so eloquently: “People will forget what you said, they will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” When brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor was recovering from a left-hemisphere stroke, she quickly realized the energy people brought with them into the room – everyone from family to healthcare workers – had a profound impact on her, especially since she was primarily using the right hemisphere of her brain, which focuses on the present moment and processes information intuitively. Dr. Taylor asked that everyone who entered her room be responsible for the energy they brought into it. (You can see Jill Bolte Taylor share her beautiful, heartfelt description of her stroke and the impact it had on her view of life in her TED Talk. It’s worth watching.)

Scientists have also discovered mirror neurons in our brains, which allow us to understand how others are feeling. Think of how your body reacts when you’re watching a scary or suspenseful movie, and how you may even jump physically when watching a surprise on screen. In one-on-one conversations, we affect each other on an energetic and emotional level, even if we’re not aware of it. If we approach someone with anger, they are more likely to respond in anger or defensively. And while we can’t change others energy, we can and have the responsibility of what energy we are bringing to a situation or encounter. If you remain in a state of peace and love, you are more likely to diffuse another’s anger. Being in that peaceful state also allows you to think more clearly and creatively. When we are in fight-or-flight mode, we don’t have access to the more creative, problem-solving portion of our brains.

I’ve found the quickest way to shift my energy is to take a few deep breaths (this relaxes your body and gets you out of fight-or-flight) and think of as many positive things about the person as you can. This changes your focus from what you dislike about them to what you do, even if it’s something your critical mind thinks is inconsequential, and helps you make a positive connection with them.

I’m not saying it’s always easy. Some people just know how to push our buttons, but the more you can stay centered and come with positive energy, the more successful the interaction will be.