“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.”
– Anatole France
Even so called “good” changes mean saying goodbye to what was. When I was recruited up to New York City and left Dallas, I felt conflicting emotions. It was an amazing opportunity, and I was thrilled, nervous, excited and couldn’t wait to experience everything NYC had to offer. At the same time, I was leaving behind some amazing friends, moving hundreds of miles away from my family, TexMex food and everything familiar.
The grief — although I didn’t really recognize it as such at the time — came in waves. Sometimes I would just need to cry. Other times I felt it helpful to walk, especially down by the Hudson River. I find water to be very calming and restorative. I often found myself looking for a familiar face in the crowd, thinking I recognized someone, only to realize the person I was looking at just slightly resembled someone from my previous life in Dallas.
It was a difficult transition, but one I’m glad I did. Over time, it got easier. The tears for what I left behind ended, and I made new connections. And of course, there were fantastic experiences that I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t been in NYC. I learned so much about myself, became much more independent and comfortable in different situations, and met many interesting people.
If you are facing a new beginning, or saying goodbye to a situation, relationship or job, I invite you to be gentle with yourself. Allow the grief, even along with the excitement and hope of new possibilities. As Richard Bach said, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”
Be gentle with yourself – good advice concerning any type of grief. Best wishes.
Great post, Emily. Funny you were thinking about when you lived in NYC – did our conversation yesterday have anything to do with that? I’d like to think so . . . 😉