A few weeks ago I wrote about emotional contagion – how others can affect us and we can affect others, similar to how a virus gets spread from person to person. Most of the time people talk about emotional contagion, it’s in the negative sense, how “one rotten apple spoils the barrel.” My article provided tips for combating negative emotional contagion, but the other side of the contagion factor is, how can we influence others positively?
Researchers have been studying brainwaves for years and have found that when two people are placed together in a room, without talking, their brainwaves synchronize within minutes. Entrainment is the process of causing brainwave frequencies to adjust to a desired state, and scientists have found they can influence entrainment through use of rhythmic sound or light. Enthusiasts of brainwave entrainment have noted that it has been used in one form or another for centuries, such as shamanistic societies use of drumming.
But if people do this to each other naturally, without the introduction of sound or light, which brain state is the stronger one? Which one pulls the other into alignment? You may be surprised to learn it’s the peaceful brainwave state that is the most powerful. Think of the peaceful revolutions led by Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. that were the catalysts for massive change.
My personal practice, and one which I now help many clients with, has been to find my peaceful center and then return to it or maintain it even in stressful or difficult situations. Finding my peace was a process. As a busy executive in a demanding career, I had become quite adept at stuffing my negative emotions and allowing the many distractions in my world to keep me from paying attention to what I really wanted. As coping mechanisms go, it wasn’t the most unhealthy, but coping only works for so long. I feel so much better being in my peaceful state, and now my focus is on holding it during stressful situations or returning to it quickly if I find myself off-kilter.
When you can maintain your peace during intense meetings, negotiations, or confrontations, not only do you feel more calm and content, you are also more likely to positively affect, or entrain, the others in the room. What we do and how we are affects others. Whether your goal is to feel better or to influence others, the starting point is the same: it begins with you.