Navigating the Turbulent Waves of Life

Have you ever been tossed and tumbled by a wave, completely at the mercy of the powerful ocean?

I remember one such experience vividly. It happened in the waters of Cabo San Lucas, where the Pacific Ocean meets the Sea of Cortez and creates a turbulent setting. I’ve always loved the ocean and was confident in my abilities as a swimmer, so I brushed off the warnings of a strong undertow.

Once in the water and looking towards shore, I didn’t see it coming. The powerful wave swept me off my feet and tossed me around so violently, my arms and legs flew helplessly in all directions. I hadn’t taken a deep breath before going under, and my mind and body instantly began to panic with the idea of “I need air!” I continued to be tumbled and thrown around, not even knowing which way was up.

Sometimes life can throw us around like this. We may not even see it coming. Suddenly, the ground we thought was solid beneath our feet is gone, and we are swept along at the whims of an external event.

I’ve been there: major relationships ending – not just romantic ones, but best friend relationships, too; cross-country moves that necessitate creating a social support structure anew; health challenges that mean the ending of some lifelong dreams. Or, in my case, all of these and a few more, all at once.

When you’re in the midst of the turmoil, it seems all is lost. At the moment, you may not even see a way forward. There is much to grieve, and all those uncomfortable feelings feel like they are part of the weight that is pulling you down.

If you’re in the ocean being tossed by a wave, one of three things can happen to help you out of the chaos:

• Your feet (or knees or hands) may touch the sand floor, which immediately provides you with the surface to push off against.
• You open your eyes and watch which direction the bubbles go – they rise to the surface, pointing your way out.
• Or, someone from the outside comes in to help you, giving you the support you need.

Looking back, the time I spent under and at the mercy of that powerful ocean wave was actually not that long. I found the ocean floor and got my feet under me again and pushed hard towards the surface. In the moment, though, time stretched out and held me captive.

When life tumbled me, I used all three methods of coping. I felt through my grief to the bottom. I looked for the bubbles – the things that brought me joy or peace – and I asked for help from friends and coaches I know, people who were outside of the chaos and could see things more clearly than I could at the time.

Everything changes. The grief and sorrow and chaos don’t last forever. And you don’t have to navigate it all on your own.