I have spent so much time looking ahead, looking forward to my next achievement. “I’ll be happy when I have ________” is what runs through my head. There are two problems with this way of thinking. One, I’m not in the present moment, grateful for and happy with what I have now (and all we have is Now). And two, when I get my fill-in-the-blank, I often find I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be.
At least I’m on to myself. I know I tend to do this future focusing. When I catch myself, I bring myself back to the present by breathing and focusing on my body. Then I find as many things as possible in my current reality that I’m grateful for. Sometimes, when you’re in a really sucky place, this could be a simple thing like the fact you’re still breathing or that the sun is shining. Anything that shifts you into a state of gratitude works!
The only reason we want things (or to achieve things) is because we want how we think it will make us feel. Ask yourself, “What will I feel when I get __________?”
As I work on growing my business, I’m in a pattern of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and nearly succeeding, etc. There have been some successes (more things to be grateful for!), and I’m learning TONS along the way. I am still dedicated to my vision. I know in my heart I’m in the right job to best use my talents. Still, the failures and near misses are currently more prevalent than the successes. When I get discouraged, I remember the value in going back to the basics: What do I want, and what will I feel when I get that?
When I’ve identified what I want, I can go about breaking that goal into smaller steps and then taking those steps to get closer to the achievement. Equally important for me is the feeling state. When I know what feeling I’m looking to achieve, I can find ways to achieve that now, while I’m still taking steps towards my goal.
For example, one of the things I want to include in my coaching is to work with companies to help teams have more passion and joy in what they do, creating teams that work well together, and creating more success and efficiency for both the individual and the company. I have a clear vision of what it looks like, what type of people would hire me, and what kind of coaching tools I would use to help them learn more about themselves and connect with their passion and joy. When I ask what I will feel when I’m doing this, the answers include joy, fun, pride in my work, and a sense of fulfillment in helping others. How can I feel these things now? I get all of this out of coaching people, but I also can tap into those feeling states by reading the testimonials my clients have written about me or volunteering. I try to regularly tap into joy and fun, whether it’s sharing laughter with a friend (like the kind of laughter my youngest niece had when she recently told her sister, “You laughed a toot right out of me!”) or watching a cute video online.
Goals are important, and I believe in having a strong vision for where you want to go. But equally important is enjoying your Now. Find ways to be thankful for where you are and what you have in the present moment, and find ways to feel what you want to feel then now, because there’s no time like the present to start feeling better.