Embracing Anger

Anger is a tricky emotion for me, not one I generally enjoy. For years, I pushed it away, buried it inside or just avoided it altogether. Of course, this doesn’t work. Stuffing any emotion causes a negative reaction in the body. I’ve heard “Emotion” defined as “energy in motion,” and when we dam it inside, stifle it, it’s similar to shaking up a soda can just before you open it. The energy builds up, ready to blow.
I still don’t enjoy all my emotions, like anger, but I’ve become a student of them. I see them as teachers, as feedback, trying to tell me something. Feeling them also allows them to pass, where stuffing them keeps them around for a lot longer.
If you – like me for many years – have a difficult time feeling your emotions, I highly recommend breathwork, yoga or a similar form of exercise. I was recently in a challenging yoga class and while trying to keep up with the instructor’s series of poses (and not doing too well), I suddenly was FILLED with anger. Anger at myself, anger at my current situation, even a little anger at the teacher for expecting too much of me. Fortunately, I was with a group of people I trust and can be vulnerable around. While still uncomfortable for me, I allowed the tears to come and sank into child’s pose to let it all out. I became the “watcher of my thoughts,” as Eckhart Tolle calls it, and noticed all the dirty-pain thoughts that were coming up. As I described in this video, our thoughts precede our feelings, so finding the thoughts provides me with the map to where to follow up with some coaching at a later time. In the moment, though, I just felt the anger.
Anger is often an emotion that spurs us to action. Anger can inspire someone to fight for justice, search for answers, or create a new solution to a problem. And what I’ve learned is letting them course through my body and truly feeling them allows me to get to a clearer state of mind where I can make decisions from a place of peace.
Wishing you a peace-filled week.