Turtles

I’ve been meditating more…or at least, trying to. It’s difficult for me to get my inner chatterbox brain to stop talking, but as with any new skill, it does get easier the more you practice.

A couple weeks ago, I was really struggling with a decision. I knew what I wanted to do, but I was afraid to take the action. The fear was mostly about the unknown. It seems easier to stay with the familiar, but sometimes, the familiar gets so painfully not right, you have to forge a new path.

I went down to Lady Bird Lake here in Austin and did a soft focus meditation. Basically, you start by focusing your vision on one object in front of you. Then, without moving your eyes, you become aware of everything in the periphery of your visual field and give everything equal importance. Next, still focusing on the one object, become aware of the sounds, smells and the feel of the environment around you, giving each equal importance in your attention. Finally, you imagine the space between your eyes, adding it to everything else in your attention.

Once I was in that relaxed space, I set some intentions for myself — what I want to have happen. At some point, I felt my phone vibrating, but it didn’t break my concentration. Once I was done with my meditation, I called my friend back. I talked to her as I walked back to my car, and stopped for a bit on a pier that hangs out over a little man-made pond. As I was telling my friend about my upcoming decision, I saw a turtle and happily thought, “Oh! A turtle!” We kept talking, and more and more turtles came up and surrounded me. I finally interrupted our conversation to tell her what was happening, and she said, “They’re telling you that you have to stick your neck out.”

My teacher Martha Beck talks about how we should be like turtles: stay soft on the inside but have a protective covering on the outside to withstand criticism, stick your neck out and make small but determined steps towards your goals.

I felt such wonderment and gratitude for this magical moment. And although I’ve been to this same spot before and since, it hasn’t happened again.

I was only able to take a picture of a portion of them. In my amazement, I didn’t think to take a panoramic video. But this snapshot is enough to remind me of the magic.