“No man is great enough or wise enough for any of us to surrender our destiny to. The only way in which anyone can lead us is to restore to us the belief in our own guidance.”
– Henry Miller, American novelist and painter.
Perhaps you are one of those fortunate people who always heard and trusted your inner wisdom. I, on the other hand, was always filled with doubts, and each “wrong step” turned into additional proof that I couldn’t trust myself.
By the time I was 28, I was getting divorced for the second time. (Yes, we get married [way too] young in the South, and yes, they were short-lived marriages.) In addition to signing up for therapy and reading many self-help books to understand why I had chosen the men I chose to marry and in hopes of not “making the same mistake again,” I enlisted the help of my friends. My best and most trusted girlfriends became members of The Committee, and we jokingly agreed that I was not to answer the question “Will you marry me?” without consulting The Committee. You see, I trusted THEIR guidance more than my own.
(I put “making the same mistake again” in quotes because I now see that the decisions I made were each unique and all part of my path. It’s difficult to say if they were truly mistakes or not, as each decision was a part of leading me to where I am and who I am now.)
As part of this wonderful journey to become a life coach, I have been taught simple but effective tools by Martha Beck and her master coaches to tap into my inner wisdom. And I must admit, I was skeptical at the beginning if I HAD any inner wisdom, accustomed as I was to not paying attention to it. But I’m pleased to report I do have some, and I continue to practice listening to it. Most often, it is more of a feeling than a thought. As some say, it’s a “gut reaction.” And each of us is so individual, only our inner wisdom can tell us what is right for us. What’s right for me may not be right for you, and vice versa.
And if there’s any doubt, my cat is also a great barometer. (She didn’t like either of my ex-husbands.)
Great post, Emily! It can indeed be tricky to learn to listen to (and trust) your own inner guidance! However, we’re doing it, by golly, and thank god for the Tribe!
And yes, when in doubt – trust the cat! 🙂 My former cat, Moose, and my current cat, Bleu, both took an instant liking to Frank, who is definitely the love of my life. So, there you go! 😉
Thanks, Sandi! Those cats are handy barometers, aren’t they?
Somehow you show us how you are both wise and “human” — without being a know-it-all or complete wreck. How you do that???
Wow, thank you, Betsy! What a great compliment. 🙂