One of the biggest shifts I’ve made in the last couple years since my training to become a Martha Beck certified life coach has been my awareness of the energy I am bringing to any given situation. I always knew and believed the only thing we can really control is how we react, but I hadn’t always known what a huge impact I can have by managing my energy before going into a challenging situation.
To me, managing my energy has three parts: 1) understanding what brings me energy and what depletes my energy, 2) knowing how to get back to my centered, calm place, and 3) mastering how to maintain that calm even in chaotic or challenging situations.
There are some commonalities on what drains us and what replenishes us, but each of us has our individual preferences, too. For many people, spending time in nature and getting some form of exercise provides us with more energy. Work can be either draining or charging to us, depending on if you’re in the right field for you or in the right role. If you’re in a job that challenges you and allows you to use your strengths, your work can bring you satisfaction and increase your well-being. Conversely, if you’re trying to be something you’re not, finding yourself bored or overwhelmingly challenged, your work might be depleting and a consistent source of stress. Becoming aware of what tasks, roles, activities, people and situations feed you versus drain you is an important first step. If you haven’t explored this for yourself, I’d encourage you to create a list and add things to one of two columns of “Replenish” or “Deplete.”
I’ve written before about getting back to center after being knocked off balance. It’s a fact of life that there will be unforeseen turns in the road and hurdles to face. If you’ve done the first step in identifying what fuels you, you can use that information to help get you back on track, as well as adding activities like meditation and quiet time to help you get calm and reconnected to your soul.
Last but not least is maintaining your positive energy in situations that trigger you. I work with many clients on this and the techniques and tools that work are as individual as each of us. But the benefits are amazing. When you can stay in a place of peace and possibility, knowing that you are okay and that whatever happens will be okay, it’s just magical what can happen. Conversely, if you are anxious and agitated, it’s much more likely that things will escalate or not go how you hoped. I recently had the opportunity to talk to a group of recent graduates who are job seeking, I encouraged them to approach interviews with confidence in who they are and what they are bringing to an employer, rather than the grasping energy of I-really-need-any-job. The first energy is inviting and much more attractive; the second is desperate, clingy and repellant.
Curious about what energy you are bringing? Notice how others react to you and realize it’s all feedback. While you can’t change how others react, you can change what you bring to the table and see if there’s any difference when you make an internal shift.